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The Fucks - ep one (Angular Recording Corporation)

This record comes with loads of ace stuff, so it immediately wins a place in my heart before I even bother to listen to it. Let us peer into the sweet-shop paper bag the whole shebang comes wrapped in…Oohh look a signed blank cheque (I use it to pay for a scratchcard – I don’t win), a fanzine with a recipe AND a quiz, a membership card entitling me to £1 off all Fucks gigs. An ace badge! I love badges. An origami house! An Argos re-order form for the E.P. Urgh! sweetie false-teeth. God, I hope it is a sweetie, I just smelled it. Oh yeah and some CD thing with six! scrawly guitar covered slices of feverish bontempi beat. It goes something like this:

‘Freedom is a good thing’ - the ridiculous falsettos and clanging guitar make me think of We’ve Got A Fuzzbox And We’re Gonna Use It’s early chaotic, exhilarating ‘music’ (find their version of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ ‘tis ace). ‘Wanna biscuit, wanna cup of tea’ yelp The Fucks as a bass noise rumbles up and down making your stomach skip like when you drive over a hillock in the road.

‘I love New York’ – Chachacha goes the bontempi. ‘Rrrrrrrrrr, Ai, yai yai!’ squeals George and we all conga round the coconut matting accidentally dropping our margaritas out the sixteenth floor window until Jemma croaks, ‘In the city. In the city. Inthecityinthecityinthecity’ like you would if you were washing up and couldn’t remember the words, or maybe forgot to write any more.

‘Ich bin ein’- a sneaky Bo Diddley electro shuffle awash with startling squidgey noises.

‘Fake crit one’ about not wanting to be a ‘little art-school doll’. Monster guitar scrabbling, stop giggling and dance straight.

‘I don’t like it’ Frantic nosebleed pop Yeah yeah! Is it safe to set the bontempi beat at that level?

‘Mad World’ Yes! It’s the Tears For Fears one. Like what that whining bloke did on ‘Donnie Darko’ only this sounds more like how Frank would have liked it, irritable not mewling.

RRRG: Horny-handed shock-absorber shudder

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